What if? Missing Moments
by Escoger
Summary: This is a collection of scenes from my fic 'What if? The Purgatory Of Lily' that didn't make it into the main story. Still, they should be rather entertaining and help flesh out that story's alternate time-lines. Pairings include SSLE, JPLP, and others.
1. Tension

**What If, The Purgatory Of Lily**

**Missing Moments**** 1 (Chapter 2)**

**Tension**

_Women, can't live without them, can't live through shopping with them..._

**Author's Note: **In order to understand this short story, it is preferable to have read the second chapter of my fic 'What if, the Purgatory of Lily'. However, to those who haven't, here is a quick summary of the time-line from that chapter: instead of Severus and James arguing on the train, Lily asked Severus if he would promise her that he would join her in whatever house she went to. As such, Severus is a Gryffindor in this time-line, and Lily and James are enemies to about the same extent that James and Severus are. There are other changes that you will have to read the main fic to recognize.

**_Disclaimer: I am not J.K. Rowling, nor do I own the Harry Potter Series._**

"You know, Sev," Lily said with a grin, walking beside Severus with her hand on his shoulder, making him feel quite warm in spite of the frigid December weather, "If you keep that frown on your face like that it'll freeze that way. You'll be the only Gryffindor this year who can't give a proper cheer when we can't win the House Cup. Come on, give us a smile, Mr. Doom and Gloom!"

Severus tried to fight it, but he couldn't help but smile slightly at the teasing expression on Lily's face. Glaring at her, something which sadly hadn't worked on her in years, he then snarked back, "Oh yes, what a beautiful 'cough' freezing my bum solid 'cough' day it is! I'm so happy, NOT!"

Lily's expression then grew somewhat chilling, and Severus felt a bit of thrilled panic begining to course through his veins as she said in a dangerous tone of voice, moving her face slightly closer and glaring at him as she did so, "Today is a nice day for shopping, Severus, and you wouldn't want us girls to have a bad time now, would you?"

Severus shook his head frantically, causing Lily's smile to return as Alice butted in on their conversation, giving Severus an apologetic wink as she did so, "So, Lily, how are things going with you and Jason lately?"

"Dunno, he doesn't seem to have much to say lately... It's no big deal though; I think he would prefer to have a conversation with my bust rather than me anyday. And with how he's been complaining about my friends lately..."

Severus smirked slightly as he, Lily, Mary Macdonald and Alice Nesbitt slowly walked down Diagon Alley together, turning into The Liberated Witches' Paradise so that the females of the group could check out dresses and such. While he normally preferred to avoid the topic of Lily's latest 'squeeze', he couldn't say that he disliked hearing about how Lily's relationship with Jason Morris was crashing and burning, as long as Lily didn't end up hurt that is.

Severus' face fell though as he considered how little it would help him with Lily if she and Morris broke up though; although the two of them were the best of friends, Severus couldn't help but be just a little frightened by the possibility that romantically pursuing Lily would sour their friendship, something which had always kept him from making a move when she was in-between boyfriends...

His musings were interrupted by Lily suddenly speaking up from the door of the dressing room that their group had borrowed, and Severus looked up to see her holding a dress in each arm, clearly weighing their attributes even as she asked, "So, guys, what do you think? Green or Blue?"

"Hmm, I dunno..."

"Maybe the..."

As the other two girls began to speak, clearly dubious about both of her choices, Lily said definitively, "I think I prefer the green one myself; I think that it brings out my eyes better, and Jason would probably like what it does to my chest when and if we go out on another date together, the little perv..."

Severus frowned; he liked the idea of what it might do to Lily's chest, as it sounded quite...fascinating to imagine, but he didn't think he would like it much if it was Morris who got to see it. It would be a difficult choice whether or not to recommend the green dress if it acted as Lily seemed to think it would, and would bear much thought...

However, his capacity for thought was instantly destroyed by the fact that Lily had started changing before even entering the room, and had removed her top right before shutting the door behind her. His mind suffered a complete meltdown at the sight of the creamy skin of her shoulders and back, as well as the fact that Severus could have sworn that he had gotten a side-view right before the door shut...

It would have been possible to hear a pin drop in the room as his mouth hang wide-open, meanwhile Alice seemed to be fighting the urge to laugh, while Mary's eyebrows had nearly entered her bushy, brown hair.

A couple of minutes later, the door to the dressing room opened to reveal that Lily had apparently been right in her predictions, as she was incredibly hot, err...very attractive in the sleeveless, green dress with a single slit running up the right side. It fit her body very nicely indeed, giving Severus an incredible view of her legs and revealing a fair bit of the upper part of her breasts... Severus truly cursed Morris' luck right then...

While Severus was torn between being scandalized and dissolving into a puddle of drool, Lily said, bending over slightly and revealing far too much of her bust for Severus' comfort level as she did so, "So guys, what do you think? Too trampish?"

As Alice burst into mad giggles while watching him, Mary gave Lily a disapproving look as she said dryly, "Lily, as you were the one to invite Severus on this little shopping trip, I suggest that you...'comport yourself appropriately', as mum puts it."

Meanwhile, Severus had finally gotten some level of control over himself as he said in a scandalized near-shout, cursing his voice for its squeaking, "Lily, I can't believe that...breasts! You...you flashed me...? I'm a bloody guy!"

Lily looked from one of them to the other while clearly fighting an embarrassed grin, then she turned to Mary and asked, "'Comport myself appropriately'? I think that your mum needs to enter the sixties sometime within the next decade, Mary..."

As Mary gave an indignant 'hmmph!', Lily then turned to Severus, drawing her eyes up and down his body slowly as she leered rather lecherously. At the same time, Lily said in that incredibly seductive purr that she had started using around him whenever she wanted to tease him, bending toward him as she did so, "And Severus...I'm well aware that you are most definitely 'a bloody guy'. However, sometimes I wonder if you realize that I am 'a bloody girl'..."

Even though Severus was blushing furiously, as was normal when Lily used 'the voice', he managed to deliver his retaliatory reply with a bit of a sigh, "I can't argue with that; given your scrawny thighs and tiny tits, you could pass for twelve, Lily. Now Mary on the other hand..."

For a moment, everyone in the room stood still in shock, Alice halting her giggles and turning to look at Severus as Lily mouthed Severus' words as if she were trying to make sure they were the ones he had said...

In hindsight, Severus should have realized that provoking Lily was not a good idea, but it was too late for him when he got a handbag hurled at his head by the outraged female. While he was still wincing, Lily gave him one of her patented icy-cold glares and said, hands on her hips, "Well, Severus, as punishment for picking on us poor, defenceless females, you are going to have to be our pack-mule for the rest of the day...and we're going to a Muggle department store..."

Severus swore mentally at that, as it meant carrying a great many bags, without the possibility of shrinking them because they would be around Muggles. Vowing never to provoke Lily again when she was in such a state, Severus growled and stomped off, needing to use the facilities anyway...

As the dark-haired boy walked away, Mary looked at the still-glaring Lily and asked curiously, "Weren't you planning to have him be our pack-mule anyway, Lily?"

Lily flashed her girlfriends a mischievous smile, then said, making sure no-one else was nearby, "Yeah, but he didn't know that..." As the other two girls laughed for a moment, Lily then whispered quietly, glaring in slighted fury off in the direction that Severus had gone, "'Scrawny thighs and tiny tits', ha! I'll show you, Severus Tobias Snape...just you wait..."

**Author's Note: **For those of you who may be wondering, this is going to be a collection of scenes designed to flesh out each of the alternate time-lines in my fic 'What if? The Purgatory of Lily'. Updates may be infrequent, as this is mostly for my own entertainment, as well as answering some of the questions that have popped up in my reviews...


	2. Watching

**What If, The Purgatory Of Lily**

**Missing Moments**** 2 (Chapter 4)**

**Watching**

_I wish...that this moment could last forever..._

**Author's Note: **In order to understand this short story, it is preferable to have read the fourth chapter of my fic 'What if, the Purgatory of Lily'. However, to those who haven't, here is a quick summary of the time-line from that chapter: Lily didn't half-smile during the incident shown in Snape's Worst Memory, leading her and Severus to have a more-controlled eruption of their problems, forcing them to hash out their differences. As a consequence of this, Severus chose not to join the Death Eaters, but Dumbledore had other ideas...

**_Disclaimer: I am not J.K. Rowling, nor do I own the Harry Potter Series._**

"Come on, Sev, it IS my birthday after all!"

"Lily, you know I love you very much, but there is no chance of me doing that. I'm sorry...but not THAT sorry!"

"Pleaaase!? I've never done it before, and it sounded cool in that movie..." Lily's pleading was starting to get to Severus, as her beautiful green eyes seemed to shimmer slightly, making him doubt his decision for a moment. However, his sense of propriety was rebelling against the very idea of doing THAT in public. He wouldn't mind doing it in private though...

As Severus deliberated and blushed slightly, Mary spoke up in his defense, "Lily, I think that Severus' answer is still 'no'. Haven't you thought about how embarrassing that would be for him!? I mean, it's Severus, not Black!"

"On behalf of Padfoot, I deny everything, however I'D certainly like it if Lily would do it for me..." James winked lasciviously after giving a placating nod toward Severus, while Lily blushed scarlet, before throwing some of the cake at James angrily.

Severus winced slightly at their antics, although that was a large improvement over the past considering that just a couple months ago he probably would have wanted to hex the Gryffindor Head Boy. Luckily the two of them had come to an understanding in the past few weeks, with James admitting that Severus had won Lily fair and square and Severus acquiescing to James' harmless flirtations toward Lily in return, so long as they REMAINED harmless.

'It's a shame that they won't remain harmless flirtations for much longer... Still, it's the price I have to pay for Dumbledore's 'help'...' Severus mentally cursed Dumbledore a few dozen times, then cursed him anew as Lily turned to beam at him. Severus loved how Lily would look at him sometimes, like she had found the answer to all of her prayers in his stringy body, and that was what made him hate Dumbledore all the more...

Meanwhile, Mary giggled then said flirtatiously, "Well, James, if you want it done to you...I'll be happy to feed you cake myself!" James' eyes widened for a moment, then Mary glared wickedly at him and charmed a piece of Lily's triple-layer chocolate cake to try to attack James, much to Lily's enjoyment and Severus' laughter. Normally, he would have enjoyed watching the still-arrogant Gryffindor get attacked by cake, but today he found that he had to fake his amusement as watching Lily laughed hurt too much for him to feel anything but pain...

"Alright, I give up! No more cake for James! Please!"

"I'm glad that you've made a wise decision, Mr. Potter." Mary was able to choke out through her laughter, canceling the spell as a cake-splattered James laid down on the floor, panting.

Severus knew just how much what he would have to do was going to hurt her, and he couldn't even give her the cold comfort of knowing the truth. This meant that he would have to take her heart and shatter it like glass while lying to her about the reasons, not even giving her the benefit of knowing that her sacrifice wouldn't be in vain.

It was hard pretending that everything was fine when Severus knew that he was living on borrowed time, and soon his life would come crashing to an end. It wouldn't be a physical death, but Severus knew that he would die all the same, even as he continued his soon to be meaningless existance...

Ironically, Severus felt a small wave of comfort along with his jealousy as Lily giggled at James as he thrust a cake-covered finger into his mouth, smacking his lips happily. Even if he had to suffer, at least Severus had the blessing of knowing that Lily would be happy in the end. James had proven himself to be an OK guy after his public apology last month, and Severus suspected that Lily still held a small attraction to him, an attraction that would doubtless grow after Severus had been forced to do his duty...

Lily apparently noticed the shadows filling his eyes, as she then put her hands on Severus' shoulders and asked quietly, not wanting to bother anyone else, "What's wrong, Sev? Is the idea of feeding me cake that awful?"

As Lily bit her lip with eyes wide with sadness, Severus felt his heart go out to her, and he decided at that moment that one day of humiliation would be more than worth it so that the last days of their romance were happy ones. As such, he pasted on a small smile and said in a voice that was filled with mock-mortification, "Oh, very well, 'Dear'. I'll feed you your little cake..."

Lily then glared at him for a moment, then replied angrily, although her eyes glinted with laughter, "Severus Snape! You KNOW that I hate it when you call me 'Dear'. I refuse to let you feed me until you apologize!"

Sighing dramatically, Severus then groaned and said with a little smirk, "OK, OK, I apologize, now can I feed you that cake now...?" As Lily nodded, opening her mouth with an 'ahh', Severus pushed a bit of cake into it and continued smoothly, "...Dearest."

Lily's eyebrows twitched in outrage as she tried to eat that piece of birthday cake as quickly as she could, and Severus knew that his doom was at hand, especially when she whipped out her wand. Still, he couldn't help but enjoy it ever so slightly, as it eased the guilt he was feeling. Finally swallowing, Lily then said evilly, "Oh...you're gonna get it now, Severus!_ INCARCEROUS! _Now for my infamous, sister-tested, TICKLE ATTACK!"

In mock-horror, Severus shouted as she tackled him, "No! Please! HELP!"

"Too late, 'DEAR'!" With that, Lily began her devilish attack and aimed at all of his weak spots, meaning that Severus was unable to keep himself from laughing like a bloody hyena. Eyes beginning to tear up, Severus felt slightly redeemed for the dark deed he would have to commit in merely two days.

Finally, Lily let up and returned to chatting with Mary after giving him a quick peck on the lips, both all but preening in pride at their accomplishments. Meanwhile, Severus watched with a sad smile. He then mused to himself about his situation,

'If I had known what was going to happen when I begged Dumbledore for help...I would do the same thing over again... If Lily is able to be safe and happy in the end because of this, even if she hates me, then I guess that that'll be alright. Maybe she'll even find out that I only joined the Death Eaters as a spy, and she'll remember my sacrifice...'

His smile growing bittersweet, Severus turned to James and gave him a slow nod to show his approval as he went over to tease Mary, not that the frequently-obtuse Gryffindor noticed. 'I won't be able to make her happy, so that task falls to you, James Potter... Make Lily feel like her every dream has come true, you insufferable prat, or I'll make sure you suffer...'

As the clock ticked down to Dumbledore's deadline, where he would have to break her heart as a ploy so that he could join the Death Eaters, Severus could only watch with a small smile and his heart thudding in his chest as Lily beamed at him... He was certain that she had never been more beautiful than she was right at that moment...

**Author's Note: **This missing moment is rather bittersweet, but the base time-line has a happy ending. I will be editing the original chapter though, as my writing from back then clearly hasn't stood up well to the test of time...


	3. Different

**What If, The Purgatory Of Lily**

**Missing Moments**** 3 (Chapter 6)**

**Different**

_So different, yet still in love all the same..._

**Author's Note: **In order to understand this short story, it is preferable to have read the sixth chapter of my fic 'What if, the Purgatory of Lily'. However, to those who haven't, here is a quick summary of the time-line from that chapter: Instead of ending their friendship outside the portrait of the fat lady, Lily cut a deal with Severus wherein he gave up Mulciber, Avery and the rest of the Death Eaters for the sake of her friendship. In order to repay him for her mistake in getting rid of ALL of his friends, Lily helped him make friends with Mary Macdonald...who decided to steal him for her own...

**_Disclaimer: I am not J.K. Rowling, nor do I own the Harry Potter Series._**

"Oh come on, Sev! I'm not having you sticking your wand up my husband's nose to deal with his snoring! It may be annoying, but I can live with it... Besides, it can't be half as bad as what Mary must suffer through; I've HEARD you when you stayed the night, FROM MY ROOM!"

Glaring icily, Severus then replied coldly, "I'll have you know that Mary thinks that my snoring has character...and from what you've been saying, James' little 'Wehehe-hoo!' sound is annoying whatever the volume is. As such, I think I'm well within my rights to suggest that James allow a professional to take care of it... However, if you're going to be ungrateful about it..."

Lily looked at him with gimlet eyes, then said with a suspicious tone of voice, "And how likely is it that you would be willing to do this out of the goodness of your heart, Mr. Severus Snape? The last time that I listened to your advice concerning James, you had me thinking that he was having an affair with his AUNT! We spied on him for a WEEK for that; hell, he thought that I was the one having the AFFAIR, with YOU!"

Severus looked away, slightly red-faced, then said stiffly, "She looked much younger than she actually was, as I'm sure that you recall, and I was only doing it out of my worry for you. However, if you would prefer that I keep my suspicions to myself the next time, then I'll be happy to do so..." With that, he started taking longer strides, threatening to leave Lily in the dust behind him.

Rolling her eyes at Severus' usual obstinacy, Lily broke into a jog to keep up with him as she said snappishly, "You know I didn't mean it like that, Severus. It's just...urgh! Listen, we were having a good time together as friends, can we get back to that and not let James' snoring ruin our night together?"

Severus didn't respond at first, but he slowed back down to a more normal speed. After nearly a minute, he said quietly, in an apologetic voice that couldn't help but warm Lily's heart slightly, "I'm sorry, Lily, I didn't mean to do ruin our evening out on the town. However, I still cannot say I care much for your husband, as I'm sure you well know. I know that you...care for him...but that doesn't mean that I enjoy talking about him all that much..."

Lily nodded, then put her hand on Severus' tall shoulder and replied in an equally sorrowful tone of voice, "I'm sorry too; I knew that you wouldn't enjoy that topic much, but it just seemed so exasperating that I NEEEDED to tell someone, you know?"

Severus sighed as he carefully removed Lily's hand from his shoulder, then said in a voice that had a trace of sympathy in it, "Well, I suppose that although I cannot understand why your husband's 'nocturnal respiration issues' are so important, I do understand the feeling. I have the same feeling sometimes when it comes to Mary's complete inability to understand Potions, although she is truly brilliant when it comes to spellwork."

Sensing that now would probably be a good time to change topics as they passed by a trio of teenagers chattering about their new cars, Lily started to speak, purposefully using a lighter tone of voice and giving Severus a inquisitive look as she did so, "Speaking of spellwork, has anything new come out lately from the infamous Snapes? It's been nearly two months since the two of you had your last incident of half-mad genius, and..." Lily lowered her voice teasingly, "...people are starting to talk, saying that you are both going senile..."

Severus looked around warily, and Lily repressed the urge to roll her eyes by reminding herself that the last time that he had spoken about a new spell in public, it had been his _Levicorpus _spell. Finally, he said in a conspiratorial whisper, lips nearly adjacent to her ear as he spoke in a tone that was more seductive than most come-ons Lily had seen, "Well, you know that Blood-Charm that you told us about, the one that you plan to use in a last-ditch attempt to save your son? Well, Mary's been trying to improve it to be used more...offensively..."

Intrigued, Lily asked curiously, simultaneously suppressing a mild case of the shudders by reminding herself that Severus was not attempting to seduce her, "Really, how so? I mean, how do you turn a spell based on a sacrifice of one's life in order to protect a blood relative into an offensive weapon? I mean, this is Mary we're speaking of, but even she shouldn't be able to turn such a spell into a practical attack...right?"

"Well..." Severus said with a frown, stopping and looking off into the distance for a moment, before continuing, "...it depends upon what the spell is based on. Intent is the most important part of any spell after all; Mary had an idea to tweak it from it's original emotion and purpose, although I doubt it is something you'd be able to use all that easily..."

Lily bit her lip as Severus trailed off, then asked carefully, a touch of worry thrumming through her veins, "What sort of changes is she trying to make to it? And what emotion is she using instead?"

Severus said simply, although Lily couldn't miss the apprehension in his posture as he spoke, clearly worried about her reaction,

"Instead of using a family member's love and wish to protect as the basis of the spell, Mary intends to use absolute hatred as its basis. The idea is that sufficiently strong hatred is equally as strong as such a love, and leads the user to be willing to sacrifice just as much in their desire to destroy their enemy. Although it won't have the ability to protect Sophia if it comes down to it, it isn't limited to having to be used with her nearby. Hopefully, the sacrifice of one's life will be sufficient to destroy anyone and anything nearby..."

Lily was glad that Severus never tried to use his Leglimency on her, as she doubted that he would care much for her feelings about his wife, as they were quite uncharitable indeed. Although she knew that Mary adored and loved him with all her heart, Lily sometimes wondered if her heart was black in color, as sometimes Mary seemed determined to find every bit of Light magic she could and pervert it into something Dark and twisted.

Intellectually, Lily knew that it was because Mary found the darker emotions so much easier to utilize than their Light counterparts, but still...Lily couldn't keep from feeling disturbed at the idea of a spell based around her love of her child turned into some kind of Kamikaze strike... It was perhaps one of the main reasons that she and Mary had drifted apart so swiftly, although their mutual rivalry for Severus at the time had surely played a key role as well. Lily and Mary were nearly polar opposites in so many ways. It was amazing that they had both fallen for the same person...

Lily's musings were suddenly broken off by the appearence of one of Mary's now-infamous Fiendfyre angels, which was now floating in the air in front of Severus. The fact that Mary used it in place of a Patronus, not being able to summon one, was emphasized as it said in a tone that was almost light-hearted in spite of the crackling of flame, "Sorry to cut off your Lily-time, honey, but I've got a bit of a situation and I could use the assist. You two can spend time catching up next week, OK?"

Lily backed away a few paces, giving the two some privacy as Severus replied, taking advantage of the mental link-up between the hellish angel and Mary's mind, "OK, I'll be there in a moment. Where are you?"

"Eh, outside of Flourish and Blotts in Diagon Alley I think. Our...friends are being a bit disruptive, and they seem to have forgotten me already..." Lily found it hard to believe, but the fiendish angel actually pouted, before continuing, "...I mean, it's only been a few months since I've been on-duty for the pregnancy, you know?"

Although Severus rolled his eyes, his eyes sparked with an excitement that remined Lily an awful lot of how he would get when he got the chance to get the drop on James during their school years, an almost-evil happiness. He then said, "Very well, just let me zip off a Patronus to the Ministry, then I'll be there with you."

Without even a word, Severus conjured up his Patronus, which had changed once again from a doe to a bat. Having it pass right by the angel's cheek as it flapped off into the darkening sky, almost seeming to brush against it tenderly, Severus then disapparated, leaving Lily behind... 'Once again...'

Lily just couldn't understand it sometimes; how could Severus have such a passion for a woman who was so much her opposite? It just didn't make sense... Why couldn't she have gotten that kind of reaction from him...?

Meanwhile, as Severus arrived in the warzone of Diagon Alley, Mary shook her head at the already-fading look of peace on Severus' face. She couldn't understand how Lily was able to get that kind of reaction from him... It just didn't make sense... Mary certainly couldn't get that emotion from him herself...


	4. Awful

**What if? The Purgatory of Lily**

**Missing Moments 4**

**Awful**

_Quite possibly the worst date I ever had...  
_

**Author's Note: **In order to understand this short story, it is preferable to have read the eighth chapter of my fic 'What if, the Purgatory of Lily'. However, to those who haven't, here is a quick summary of the time-line from that chapter: instead of Lily choosing Peter Pettigrew to be the Secret-Keeper of the Potters, she chose to keep it as Sirius. Eventually, Peter kidnapped Harry, only to be stopped and slain by Severus. This led to reconciliation between Lily, James and Severus. The final pairing for Severus is SSHG in this chapter, so be warned.

**_Disclaimer: I am not J.K. Rowling, nor do I own the Harry Potter Series._**

Hermione frowned as she looked herself in the full-length, oaken-backed mirror, evaluating her appearance. Forcing a hopefully-seductive smile, she moved close, squinted at her hair as she turned slowly to give herself a better angle for inspection, then sighed dismally. Her hair was something that she had to admit was usually...less than impressive, only once or twice in her life not resembling a bird's nest. Tonight was luckily one of those times, as she had made use of most of her small stash of Sleakeazy's, but still...

It was something that she hadn't minded much while she had been dating Ron or even during that stint with Seamus, but those had been completely different situations. She had never really cared much if she impressed them. They were just teenage boys after all; although Lavender and Parvati sometimes tried to convince her otherwise, Hermione had quickly realized that taking the time to 'dress to the nines' was just time wasted since they were so easily pleased by the smallest of efforts beyond the norm. Really, it was kind of sad...

However, this...encounter was different, as she wasn't going out with just anyone.

She was going on a date with Severus, even if he didn't realize it yet. Somehow, that made looking her best absolutely critical, as she felt that nothing less would do. She didn't just want to impress him, she NEEDED to do it, make him so besotted with her that he would never look at another woman again. Nothing less would do...

"Aren't you done in there yet, Hermione?" Hermione heard her roommate's voice shouting irritably. Ginny had been positively furious when she had found out about her and Ron breaking up earlier last year, angrier than either one of the couple had been actually. She suspected that the youngest Weasley's present annoyance was because she was still hoping that Hermione and Ron would get back together, especially because she had broken up with Seamus a month ago...

"I'll only be a bit, Ginny, so just give me a minute. Unless there is something you really need?" Replied Hermione, checking to see if she had applied her blush properly. She wanted to look beautiful and mature tonight, not like a recently-graduated teenager. The age gap would be awkward enough without her parading it in his face.

"That's what you said an HOUR AGO! What's the point of spending so much time in there for bloody Snape!? I mean, you didn't go through half the trouble when you were dating Ron!" Came back Ginny's angry shout. Apparently she was on THAT topic again...

"Oh, shut up! And stop bringing up your prat of a brother!" Hermione yelled back. "That was over a YEAR ago! Besides, he's happy with Susan. And before you ask, we are never getting back together, and that's FINAL!"

"You...SHUT UP!" And to Hermione's relief, she could hear the sounds of Ginny stomping away.

'I wish she would just move on... Even Ron agrees that the two of us just didn't mesh. Him catching me making out with Seamus like that was just the excuse that both of us looking for, really.' Hermione mused to herself...

Although she hadn't realized the significance at the time, she had been far more hurt by the look of disappointment in Severus' eyes when she had told him about the kiss than she had been when Ron had been ranting about her being a 'cheating little bint!', not that she hadn't deserved it. Ron had gotten over it rather quickly, accepting like Hermione that the two no longer fit together properly, but Severus had been far less forgiving...

Even though he had still accepted her apprenticeship after he found out and had never mentioned the incident again, Hermione knew that it had still cast a long shadow on their relationship. Severus was the kind of man who was an endlessly faithful constant, loyal to his friends and those he loved to an extent that few could match. For good or ill, he would rarely if ever change himself or his mind, and the very idea of being so faithless was anathema to him.

After all, even though he had dated other women over the years, it was common knowledge that he had carried a torch for Harry's mum since before HE had started attending Hogwarts...

Sighing at the depressing thought, Hermione gave herself another once-over, just in case she had missed anything.

She was in a nicely-cut emerald-green dress that supposedly managed to accentuate her figure nicely, supporting her bust without aid of anything else, a pair of ankle-killing high-heels which added another few inches to her height, a simple, pearl necklace outlining her rather-pale neck, and finally a pair of sapphire earrings in the shape of dolphins. It should have made her look positively stunning, and she tried to force another smile, only to fail dismally...

Unfortunately, she could see how her rather-large hips were ruining the effect, as the dress hugged them far too well. Also, now that she was looking carefully, she could see that showing off her bosom wasn't as effective as she had hoped, as they were only of moderately-large size rather than the huge knockers Hermione had seen on that gorgeous new DADA teacher and that certainly wouldn't help keep Severus off the market...

Frankly, Hermione thought she looked positively hideous.

For the umpteenth time since she had begun her self-critique, Hermione considered trying to call Severus by phone and cancel the 'dinner out to celebrate your first year as my apprentice' meeting that he had set up, but she knew that she was too late already...especially when she heard him banging on the front door. Hopefully, Ginny would answer and not make a huge fuss over it, but Hermione was now officially too late to change her mind.

Giving her hair one final brush, knowing that she was already late, Hermione decided that this was as good as it was going to get.

Walking out of the only bedroom of the dingy flat she shared with Ginny with a sigh, Hermione prepared for what would probably be the worst date in the history of dates as she strode towards the living room.

Seeing Severus, dressed up in midnight-blue robes and with his hair combed and cleaned up, Hermione managed to force a smile as she greeted him. 'This is going to be a disaster; I just know it...'

Severus' reaction, being the refined, emotionally closed off sort of person he was, was far less obvious than it would have been for most males. He merely nodded, before taking hold of Hermione's arm with a small smile, then apparating with her outside of the Italian restaurant they had planned to eat at.

Inside his mind though...Severus was completely gobsmacked, and he had to remember to suppress his urge to drool at the beauty of his brilliant apprentice. If he hadn't had the foresight not to say anything, then his date would have been sorely amused by his stuttering attempts at speech.

It was a good thing that he had decided to listen to Lily's admonishments to him as she had helped him get ready, having flooed over the moment she had heard about his and Hermione's dinner plans, not that he'd ever tell her that. It had been quite embarrassing... _'Severus, you spent nearly fifteen years IN LOVE WITH ME before I found out, and I'm not letting you make that mistake again! I don't care if you think you look POSITIVELY HIDEOUS! You're going to have dinner with Hermione, have a great time and make it into the date you know you want to have with her! GOT IT!?'_

Severus was thus determined to do his utmost to impress Hermione, lest Lily remove his internal organs as she had threatened to do if he made a mess of things. At least, that was the excuse he was sticking to... 'This is going to be a disaster; I am certain of it.'

Unfortunately, neither Hermione nor Severus knew the thoughts of their respective partner. As such, they proceeded to have one of the most awkward pseudo-dates known to man, with both stuttering the whole time, unsure of whether to treat it as a date or a meeting. Hermione clumsily spilled some of the red wine down her pretty green dress, while Severus attacked the meatballs on his plate with such gusto that one of them ended up smacking him on the face when he missed it with his fork. Both tried to flirt subtly with each other, but neither understood the metaphors the other was using. To cap the evening off, Severus attempted to apparate while Hermione wasn't quite ready, causing her to throw up all over his nice dress robes.

The evening was a disaster, the likes of which had never been seen before or since.

Thus, it was to nobody's surprise that they agreed to meet for dinner again, same time next week.

**Author's Note: **I decided to write this as a sort of test, to see if I could write a proper Severus/Hermione romance without being too cheesy, avoiding the main cliches of the pairing (Ron cheating on Hermione and generally being a giant prat who no-one would ever consider dating, Severus acting like every girl's dream date on the first date, etc...).

Also, I am considering deleting this fic, and simply attaching it to the main 'What if? The Purgatory of Lily' fic. What do you guys think?


	5. Slowly

**What If, The Purgatory Of Lily**

**Missing Moments**** 5 (Chapter 7)**

**Slowly**

_Our choices make us who we are, but why should the important ones be so hard? Why not make them easy?_

**Author's Note: **In order to understand this short story, it is preferable to have read the seventh chapter of my fic 'What if, the Purgatory of Lily'. However, to those who haven't, here is a quick summary of the time-line from that chapter: in fifth year, prior to the Snape's Worst Memory incident, Lily kissed Severus once. This led to a more...physically-based attraction towards him, and a more determined policy from Lily when it came to dealing with James and the Future-Death Eaters... In the end, they ended up marrying, and the 'Eris' and 'Ares' mentioned in this fic are their daughter and son.

**_Disclaimer: I am not J.K. Rowling, nor do I own the Harry Potter Series._**

"So what do you think, Sev? Some more iguana scales into the brew?"

"... Perhaps that would be a good idea. It might help deal with the boiling issues, if nothing else." Severus mused aloud, weighing the idea with eyebrows furrowed. "Yes, that sounds good, although it would probably be best if we lowered the temperature by a couple degrees first...just in case."

"Right...that should be fine, Severus..." Lily trailed off with a frown, her attention diverted by the creaking sound of the classroom door behind them being shoved open, revealing Arcturus Mulciber calmly standing there.

As usual, he appeared unruffled by the dusty old classroom that Lily and Severus had long ago claimed as 'their spot', although he gave her a quick, almost-perfunctory look of disgust before turning his gaze to his fellow Slytherin. "Severus, Evan told me to tell you that we have another...meeting planned for tonight, after the Hufflepuff-Gryffindor Quidditch match. Can we count on you to be there?"

He then smirked lasciviously, giving Severus a wink that made Lily want to roll her eyes, as it reminded her far too much of Sirius Black when he was describing Mary's 'gloriously-perfect, gift to mankind-sized titties!'. "Besides, I heard that there would be...pole-dancers there, for the after-meeting. Trust me, it's going to be incredible..."

As Severus' eyes glazed over slightly, obviously picturing said afterparty in the same way that Mulciber was hoping he would, Lily's frown deepened. Glaring coldly as Mulciber waited with obvious impatience for Severus to respond, she then said sarcastically, "Well, while that would be ever so entertaining to witness, I'm afraid that Severus will be unable to make it tonight. He has 'plans'."

As she spoke, she gave Severus an elbow to the side, which snapped him out of his likely-perverted trance. Shaking his head, Severus looked at Lily questioningly for a moment, to which she mouthed 'Potions test tomorrow'. He still appeared a tad unsure, but he turned to Mulciber and said slowly and with a hint of regret audible in his voice, "Sorry, but Lily's right. I'm not going to be able to make it tonight, but I'll try to make the next one..."

Mulciber's lip curled, and he glared hatefully at Lily for a moment before finally muttering nastily, so quietly that Lily was all but certain that Severus didn't hear it from the other side of the cauldron where he was standing, "Fine, be that way. Miss this one just like the previous two, Severus. Stupid Mudbloods..." Speaking in a more normal tone of voice, Mulciber then said calmly, although his disappointment was obvious, "Very well then, but don't forget and make plans for THAT one too. The other guys are starting to wonder..."

Giving Lily one last look of disgust, Mulciber walked out the door. For a moment, there was silence, but then Severus got up and chased after him.

Watching as Severus left the room, Lily sighed. She had hoped that Severus would have stood up to the boy who was his so-called 'friend' in the future-Death Eaters gang that seemed to be controlling Slytherin nowadays. However, it was apparently not to be...at least not this time.

Suddenly, she heard their voices coming from the corridor, causing her to start. Curious, she tip-toed over to the door, and pressed her ear against the small hole that had long ago been formed in the wood. Not making a sound, Lily listened intently as Severus spoke. "...sorry, Arcturus, but I just...forgot again is all. Don't worry, I've marked down the date of the next one in my calender. I'll be there, I swear it."

She heard Severus' companion sigh, before saying, "Severus, I wasn't kidding when I said that people are starting to talk. I mean, you've stopped hanging out with us as much, and you got Wilkes in trouble last week when he was just playing around with one of the girls. You don't even help us with our homework anymore..."

Lily rolled her eyes at how Mulciber was twisting what had actually happened. From what she had heard, Malcolm Wilkes had forced Alexandra Gregory up against a wall and groped her publicly while she had been begging him to stop. Although the two were currently boyfriend and girlfriend, Wilkes was infamous for treating her like nothing more than a whore, while Alexandra had a hard time saying 'no' to him when he did so.

As for Severus 'helping' his Slytherin buddies with their homework, it was actually more like 'Severus does the homework for them', and all of them knew it...

Meanwhile, Severus was speaking again, saying coldly, "Arcturus...you know how I feel about Wilkes and stuff. That sort of thing...I would never do anything like that to...to someone I liked." He all but mumbled the last bit, but Lily felt a rush of pride in Severus, before he continued more weakly, "Besides, it's sixth year and...I-I've been having a bit of difficulty myself. I need more time for my own studying..."

Mulciber snorted in amusement at that. "Oh please, I'm not some silly little girl, Severus. You're just hoping to get into Miss Evans' white cotton panties; that's why you've been spending so much time 'just studying' with her. You want to have her panting inside of one of those broom closets, just like Wilkes and his girl. Don't bother denying it!"

"It's not like that!" Severus shouted, surprising Lily with the vehemence, although the expression 'trying too hard' came swiftly to mind. He then lowered his voice, although she could hear the anger in her best friend's words, "Speaking of Lily, Arcturus, I'm tired of seeing you glaring at her all the time whenever you're in the same room. Promise me you'll quit it, OK?"

There was a brief pause, but Mulciber then said, "Fine. Just make sure you don't let her run all over you again, and BE THERE for the next meeting!" The last was barely audible, and Lily could tell that Mulciber was walking away.

Knowing that if Severus caught her spying on him, he would be incensed, Lily quickly slipped back to the cauldron. Luckily, the potion they had chosen to make didn't require much in the way of constant attention, or it probably would have been very messy indeed.

She had just gotten back into position when the door opened, creaking loudly once again, and Severus stalked into the room with a frown on his face. He looked at her strangely, and for a moment Lily wondered if he had heard her from on the other side of the door, but then he turned to the potion and said sourly, "It appears that we're too late for the iguana scales this time." He then turned to look at the nearby clock, sighing. "It doesn't matter much anyway, I suppose. You've got your Quidditch game in a few minutes and all, don't you?

Lily frowned for a moment, suddenly reminded of how she had made plans to watch Gryffindor 'mop the floor with Hufflepuff', cheering it on with the rest of the Gryffindor girls. However... "Actually, I wasn't planning on going today. It probably wouldn't even be interesting anyway, too one-sided and all." She paused, then said hopefully, feeling her face heating up slightly, "If you don't mind, maybe I could stay here with you and we could work on the iguana scales and such...?"

Severus turned away from her, then muttered, "Err, that would be fine I guess. Y-yeah."

It wasn't exactly the most ringing endorsement, but Lily didn't mind. She had caught the catch in Severus' voice as he had spoken.

The blush on his neck didn't hurt either.


	6. Limbo

**What If, The Purgatory Of Lily**

**Missing Moments ****6 (Chapter 3)**

**Limbo**

_Falling is easy, it's stopping myself that's hard..._

**Author's Note: **In order to understand this short story, it is preferable to have read the third chapter of my fic 'What if, the Purgatory of Lily'. However, to those who haven't, here is a quick summary of the time-line from that chapter: Lily discovered James' hexing Severus in his seventh year, putting a stop to it. Because of that, Severus started spending more time alone rather than hanging out with the 'Death Eater gang', causing Lily to think that he had changed his mind about them. This ironically led to him actually changing his mind about them, as he was not going to lose Lily's friendship again... Still, Lily ended up marrying James in the end anyway.

**_Disclaimer: I am not J.K. Rowling, nor do I own the Harry Potter Series._**

"Hey, Sev! I'm coming in if you don't answer in five, four, three-"

-SLAM-

Lily blinked as the front door to Severus' home slammed shut while a buxom, black-haired woman exited. Eris was her name, she Severus' most recent girlfriend if Lily recalled correctly. Cheeks heating up in embarrassment, Lily then asked, "Err...did I come at a bad time?"

Eris gave her a disgusted, hateful glare, then marched right past Lily, shoving her slightly as she did so. Severus then opened the door, and seemed about to say something, but Eris must have noticed as she beat him to it and shouted, "Go to hell, 'Little' SNAKE! and take your PATHETIC WHORE with you! Good riddance to the both of you! And for the record, I DON'T CARE WHAT TEMPERATURE YOU WANT TO SET THE SQUASH TO, IT'S STILL WRONG!"

With a pop, and one last look of loathing at both of them, Eris disapparated. Silence then fell for nearly a minute, as if the air itself were stunned by the little bint's retreat, before Severus finally said dully, "It was apparently her mother's recipe for making casserole..."

"Oh..." Lily looked at Severus, who had a single tear running down his cheek, but otherwise seemed merely hurt rather than utterly heart-broken. It wasn't much of a surprise really; he himself had told Lily nearly a week ago that he wasn't sure if it would work out with the woman, given her 'complete and truly impressive LACK of common sense!', as Severus had put it. All the same, Lily knew perfectly well that very few people took a stinging rejection like that easily, and Severus wasn't one of them.

Giving him some time to remaster himself, during which Severus' expressions varied dramatically before settling on a blank, stone-like face, Lily finally said hesitantly, "So...your new version of Wolfsbane, Sev?"

Severus stood still for a few moment, then shook his head, before saying quietly, "Well, I was thinking of attempting to add a few drops of my variant of Wit-Sharpening potion to the mixture in place of some of the silver. At the least, it should reduce the cost by a couple Sickles..."

Putting her hand on his arm, Lily gently led Severus back inside and down to the basement, keeping up a running conversations about the antics of her children as she did so. She hoped that it would distract him for the moment, giving him time to process what had happened; it was the best way to deal with her best friend when he went through a break-up in her experience, as he frequently needed time to think through how he felt about it, letting his emotions settle after being stirred up as Lily preferred to think about it.

It certainly seemed to work well enough; when she told Severus about how Sevilen had snuck into her potions set in order to make Mud-pie-potions, he had smirked and said, "Well, at least he has the desire to be a brewer...even if his skill is somewhat lacking..."

Encouraged by this, although part of her suspected that Severus might just be humoring her for the sake of keeping her happy, Lily proceeded to give him an complete rundown of anything interesting that had happened or might have happened in the eighteen-and-a-half hours since she had last seen him...not that she had been counting of course.

Finally, when Lily had talked herself completely out of everything, even the suspicion that she had of one of the neighbors being a part-hag hiding from the wizarding world--Severus had appropriately told her that she was "Completely, barking mad!"--, she allowed herself to lapse into silence. Severus was apparently content with this, brewing alongside her contentedly, reminding Lily with every calm, nearly-perfect stroke of the stirring rod as to why he was Britain's greatest Potion Master.

'He's so smooth and careful with it.' Lily mused, watching his every move out of the corner of her eyes. 'It's almost as if he's not even moving, not a drop going out of place. Really, Horace Slughorn must be the happiest man alive to have such a feather in his cap, to have been the one to teach the most brill-'

"I'm sorry, Eri-Ms. Brockshaw was just angry at me for forgetting her mother's birthday." Severus' voice broke into her thoughts, quiet yet firm, exasperation echoing through his words. "Heaven knows why I would care of course; her mum is one of the most hateful little bints that I've ever had the displeasure of meeting, but apparently my not knowing wasn't good enough for her. We were in the middle of a row about her mother's casserole for Merlin's sake; your knocking was apparently the last straw..." He shook his head in annoyed anger, then said lamely, "I'm sorry, she shouldn't have said that..."

Lily frowned at this. "It's alright, it wasn't like you were the one who said it. My days of blowing up at you for what the people around you say are long past, thank you very much!" Severus opened his mouth, probably to protest, but Lily continued quickly, "And I know that you're going to say that it wasn't like that, and that wasn't what you were saying, Sev. It's just..." Lily then paused, remembering something. "Hey, didn't you say that you didn't like my mum much? You never forgot her birthda-"

She cut herself off, but the damage had already been done; the tension in the air seemed to thicken alarmingly, and Severus gave her a coolly-reproachful look, to which she replied with apologetic grimace. That was a subject that had been made off-limits long ago, and for good reason too. Even now, neither one of them dared to speak of it.

After nearly a minute of silence, Severus changed the subject, a cold determination in his voice. "She still shouldn't have called you that, Lily, and if I hear her say that again, I'll hex her. I promise you that!"

_Pathetic Whore_... It was a fairly common thing for her to hear from whoever Severus happened to be dating at the time when he and that person broke up, along with 'Adulterous Slut' and 'Cheating Scum', along with even more colorful descriptors. At first, Lily had been outraged when she heard one of them describe her as such, so furious that if it hadn't been for James and Severus holding her back then she would have hexed the woman until that hideous brunette resembled nothing more than a human-shaped hex mark. 'Now though...'

"It's alright, Severus, I don't mind..." Lily said quietly, before giving him a small, tremulous smile. "It's only words after all, right?"

Severus opened his mouth as if to speak, then seemed to think the better of it, finally saying, "I guess..."

Lily gave Severus a small squeeze of thanks on his non-stirring hand, his other one having continued its perfect motion throughout the conversation, a skill that was critical for any serious brewer. He gave her a squeeze back, allowing the two of them to lapse into silence, neither ready to let go of the other quite yet.

'Now though...I don't mind as much...' Lily admitted to herself, feeling the coolness of Severus' hand slowly seep into her warm one as she did so. 'It's not as if there isn't a grain of truth to it...or a lot more than a grain, to be quite honest. I love James very much, and I'm not cheating on him, but...' Lily turned her head slightly, allowing her eyes to linger on the stoic man next to her, feeling her cheeks color as she did so. '...it's not as if I'm not tempted... If he tried to take me...I might just let him...'

Indeed, that was part of the reason that Lily encouraged that Severus date other women, trying to encourage him to move on from her. If he was happy with someone else, then it would shore up her willpower, lessen the temptation that grew so strong at times that she wondered how he could possibly miss it. Moreover, if he was happy with someone else...then he would be happy, and Lily wouldn't begrudge him of that, not for all the money in Gringott's.

As such, Lily tried to help him as best as she could; she would help him 'feel out' the woman he was attracted to should he be nervous, assist him the best she could with important holidays and anniversaries, discuss with him as to how to deal with any of the normal relationship hiccups and generally do her best to help him understand the oft-confusing vagaries of modern dating--something that Severus still didn't understand, even after several years of attempts.

Nonetheless, it never seemed to work out in the end, with the women he was dating either breaking up with him or vice-versa. She would always be both sad because her best friend had been hurt...and secretly, darkly thrilled because then he would be _available_... She wouldn't have to share him with anyone else, wouldn't have to be afraid that she would be replaced in his heart, wouldn't have to fear that he would _truely_ forget her...

"Are you sure you're OK, Sev?" Lily asked quietly, looking at Severus as she did so, still holding his hand almost possessively. "I mean, you don't have to pretend that you're fine if you arent..."

Severus blinked, looking at out of the corner of his eyes. He squeezed her hand gently, saying, "Yes, Lily. I'm really fine; do not worry."

"Good." Lily said satisfactorily, giving a firm nod. "I'm glad. She didn't deserve you anyway, the jealous shrew. You deserve someone far better than that."

He smiled slightly at her, letting go of her hand and slipping his arm around her, pulling her against him gently. "I don't know if I agree with you on that, but I'm glad that you think so."

Lily snuggled a little tighter against him, not enough for him to notice she was doing so, but enough so that she could feel his side pressed against her better. "Trust me, Severus, I know so."

Lily then smiled, feeling comfortable as she watched Severus at work, demonstrating the 'new and improved' Wolfsbane recipe so she could use it next time. She could spend days like this, comfortably silent because neither had to say anything, talking when they felt like it and merely working alongside one another when they weren't...

But she could only risk it for so long. She was attracted to Severus, attracted so much that it wasn't just a bad idea, it was positively _dangerous_. She had a husband who she adored, three children who meant the world to her and a host of other reasons that she just _shouldn't_ even be tempted by the idea of shagging her beloved best friend until they had christened every room in this oversized house of his...but she was, she was _very _tempted.

If Severus ever found out, or even if he decided to press her...then sooner or later she would crack, and destroy her marriage, probably lose her children as well as her respect throughout the wizarding community--they still considered adultury just above manslaughter as far as how horrible the act was.

Lily couldn't afford that; if needed, she could live without the respect of the wizarding world...but she would die before hurting her children in any way, James too. 'If only willingness to die could translate to willingness to resist Severus...'

It was because of this she always breathed a sigh of relief when Severus told her of the next woman he was going to attempt to date...and feel a simultaneous gnawing twinge of fear that perhaps this one would be the mythical _One_ that made Severus forget all about her. She wanted Severus to be truly, gloriously happy, especially if it took the temptation he represented away from her...but she also wanted to bask in that temptation, feeling the delicious heat that sparked through her every time he looked at her like _that_.

"Lily, are you OK? Your eyes are getting rather glassy." Severus suddenly asked, disrupting Lily's thoughts and making her realize that she had been blatently staring at him _again_.

Shaking her head slightly, Lily lied glibly, giving Severus a simple smile as she did so, "I'm alright, just a little sleepy. Sevilen kept me awake last night is all... Apparently, the cookie-monster had planned to strike at one in the morning. So much for being eleven being a sign of maturity..."

Severus was clearly unsure, as he gave her a careful once-over...although Lily noticed his eyes lingering on her t-shirt-clad breasts. Finally, he spoke quietly, "If you're sure..."

Lily simply nodded, breathing a quiet sigh of relief as he went back to his potion. That had been _close_.

Eventually, either Severus would finally find someone he could spend the rest of his life with, finally giving up on Lily once and for all...or she would crack, falling prey to the heat that Severus' cool nature seemed to bring out in her, destroying her old life in search of whatever being with Severus would bring...

Until then, both of them were stuck in Limbo...

**Author's Note: **I was looking through my old files and found this unfinished, nearly at the sixty-day mark. After a bit of writing, I'm happy to bring it to you all=).

It might be a bit more risque than what the chapter seemed to indicate, but this is happening towards the end of Severus' life in the chapter, right before Sevilen's death and when Lily goes into complete hiding, so I feel alright with her attraction burning like fire about then. If you dislike it, then consider it to be a bit of artistic license. Hope that doesn't detract from the story.


	7. Triumphant

**What if? The Purgatory of Lily**

**Missing Moments 7 (Chapter 6)**

**Triumphant**

_Even as you watch, I shall burn down your heaven, only to replace it with my own..._

**Author's Note: **In order to understand this short story, it is preferable to have read the sixth chapter of my fic 'What if, the Purgatory of Lily'. However, to those who haven't, here is a quick summary of the time-line from that chapter: Instead of ending their friendship outside the portrait of the fat lady, Lily cut a deal with Severus wherein he gave up Mulciber, Avery and the rest of the Death Eaters for the sake of her friendship. In order to repay him for her mistake in getting rid of ALL of his friends, Lily helped him make friends with Mary Macdonald...who decided to steal him for her own...

**_Disclaimer: I am not J.K. Rowling, nor do I own the Harry Potter Series._**

"Well, I think that went rather well." said Mary as she strode into the Hospital Wing, satisfaction practically oozing off of her. "I only got a weeks detention and a sixty point deduction, but the points are no big deal anyway. Each of Black and Pettigrew only got a few days worth of detention and fewer points taken away, _of course_. Still, we're all Gryffindors, so their sixty and my sixty make up a hundred-twenty points between us!" She then smirked at the redhead beside her. "What do you think, Lily?"

"What do I think!? I think that it was horrible what you did!" growled Lily defiantly, glaring at the bushy-headed brunette as she they walked over to the curtains behind which the current patients were located. "I mean, sure Black was being a jerk and shouldn't have tried to hex Severus like he did. Hell, he deserves much worse than a few days of detention, but you went WAY too far in your response!"

"Well, then why didn't you do something first?" shot back the still-smirking Mary MacDonald. "You were right next to me when Black fired that Tripping Jinx at Severus; why didn't you try doing something instead of just telling him off? A Bat-Bogey hex would do _wonders_ at trying to fix his attitude in my opinion..."

"I am a bloody _prefect_, As if you and Severus don't know!" shouted Lily furiously, putting her hands on her hips as she bellowed at her fellow Gryffindor. "It's my job to maintain order, thank you very much! I can't just go around showing favoritism to my friends, even if I want nothing more than to hex Black till he turns blue. I have a _job _to do, to protect the students of this school! I was trying to take care of the situation without yet _another_ fight!"

Mary rolled her eyes at this. "Job, shmob. That fight was happening whatever you did! Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to spend time with my Sevvikins!" Almost immediately, she ducked under the curtain with a giggle, leaving Lily gobsmacked in her wait, mouthing 'Sevvikins' in shock.

While Lily was still stunned, Mary walked over to Severus and sat down in a chair beside him, suppressing a chuckle as she shook her head. Although Lily's reaction had been quite amusing to witness, it wouldn't do for Severus to misunderstand her reaction and overreact, not in front of Lily.

After casting a quick _Muffliato_ so they wouldn't be bothering anyone else, she placed her hand on his shoulder and asked quietly, "Hey, Sev...you alright? Black's ready to spit hexes after what you did to him; apparently puking his guts up on Sabrina wasn't what he was going for..."

"That's good to hear..." muttered Severus, head turned away as he lay almost lifelessly on the bed. After Black hit him with the Tripping Jinx, Pettigrew had taken the opportunity to hit him with Expelliarmus, sending him tumbling down most of a flight of steps; from what Mary had heard while in the headmaster's office, he had just missed receiving a concussion. "What'd Dumbledore give him this time? An award for 'brave actions against the vile Slytherins'? Or perhaps he was only invited to tea and-"

"Severus," Lily suddenly interrupted, having apparently gotten past her shock, although Mary didn't miss the tightness of her jaws. Nonetheless, that didn't stop her from speaking to Severus in a comforting tone of voice, "Dumbledore gave Sirius three days of detention and took thirty points off of him, him AND Pettigrew. Filch's going to make him have a rough time of it, that's for sure!" As she finished, Lily grabbed Severus' hand, holding it gently. At this, the boy seemed to almost smile.

Feeling a coldness grip her chest at this, Mary glowered at Lily as she said waspishly, while stomping her foot in anger, "Sure, he punished _them_, but apparently Lily told Dumbledore about my little contribution to the battle; I got a week's detention and sixty points taken away from me! What was it, Lily? Couldn't let your boyfriend's best friend go unavenged?"

As she spoke, Severus' face suddenly seemed to tighten with hurt. Meanwhile, Lily whirled around and started shouting, eyes blazing with fury, "'Little contribution'? _Little Contribution_!? You broke both of Alexandra's bloody legs with that _Reducto_ of yours! And she wasn't even fighting when you blasted her!"

Mary shrugged, a rather malicious smirk on her face as she replied, "Hey, I figured that Black would jump in the way of the spell, 'chivalrously' protecting her; she is his girlfriend after all, and he's got that stupid 'nobility' thing going. If Sev hadn't hexed him, he probably would have too!" She then chuckled, waving her hand in negligence. "Besides, she laughs as hard as anyone when the Marauders hex Severus. And it was only a half-dozen broken bones. I'm sure Pomfrey fixed her up in a jiffy."

For a moment, there was silence as Lily looked at her in horrified disgust. As Mary's smirk widened, she mentally counted down until Lily's probable explosion. 'Three...two...one...zero!'

"'_Only_ a half-dozen broken bones'!?" screamed Lily, letting go of Severus' hand as she delivered a full-bodied slap to the smiling brunette. "It's alright that you defended Severus, but next time-"

Severus' hoarse voice interrupted the furious redhead though. Turning away from both of them as he spoke, the Slytherin boy whispered, "Would you have preferred it if she did nothing? Like you did!?"

At that, Lily's eyes filled with hurt, although Mary was quite certain that Severus was unable to see her. Her mouth open and closed, and it seemed as if she were trying to find her voice. Finally, she said in an almost-pleading whisper, "Severus...I-"

"Get out." said Severus in a thick, cold tone of voice.

Lily put her hand on Severus' own, begging Severus as she did so, "But...Sever-"

However, Severus wrenched his hand from hers as he gritted his teeth, yelling in a frenzy, "_Get out_! Just go commiserate with your _boyfriend_ and leave me and my friends alone!"

Mary hid her triumphant smile as Lily gave Severus one last, longing look, then fled the room, causing the coldness gripping Mary's chest to vanish.

However, then Severus started to shake, a strangled sob alerting her to the fact that he was crying.

Mary's smile faded, and she felt a surge of guilt rush through her; she hadn't meant to hurt him...just get rid of Lily for the moment. She hadn't wanted to make him cry... Placing her hands on his shoulders, she gently massaged the boy, cooing to him, "There, there...Severus. It'll all be alright. You'll see..."

"You shouldn't have done that, you know." Severus' voice came to her from where had buried his head into the pillow, voice thick and filled with emotion. "You shouldn't have hexed that girl. We could've beaten Sirius on our own; we didn't need to risk anyone else..."

Mary sighed, but she continued holding him as she spoke, "I know; honestly, Severus, it was a spur of the moment decision. If he had jumped in the way, it would have ended the fight then and there...and I honestly thought he would."

Severus seemed to accept that, inclining his head slightly. He then whispered, so quietly that she was quite certain he hadn't meant for her to hear it, "At least _someone_ here wants to help me, and not just because it's her job..."

_"...I can't just go around showing favoritism to my friends, even if I want nothing more than to hex Black till he turns blue..."_

Mary shook her head, then said to the wounded boy beside her in a voice filled with tenderness and love, albeit a selfish love, "Even if she doesn't care about you, Severus, I promise I always will..."

Severus didn't say anything, but Mary could see his tears starting to slow and she smiled. It wouldn't be long now; soon Severus would get over his silly crush on Lily, then he would eventually realize that she was right there in front of him. When he did...she would make him so happy he would burst, showing him that she was best for him, always and forever...

'After all, It's been more than a year since she started dating James to make him jealous, the silly girl; sooner or later though, he'll decide that she's taken and give up. Then this will all have proven to be worthwhile...'

An image of Lily's last, longing gaze flashed through Mary's mind, before she shook her head.

'Won't it?'

**Author's Note:** I know I haven't yet written a scene for all of my chapters, but this scene just flashed through my mind one day, and I think it fits perfectly with the overall tone of the chapter. I'll be getting back to my other stories of course, but sometimes you just have something that you need to write...


	8. Worried

**What if? The Purgatory of Lily**

**Missing Moments 8 (Chapter 8)**

**Masks**

**Author's Note: **In order to understand this short story, it is preferable to have read the eighth chapter of my fic 'What if, the Purgatory of Lily'. However, to those who haven't, here is a quick summary of the time-line from that chapter: instead of Lily choosing Peter Pettigrew to be the Secret-Keeper of the Potters, she chose to keep it as Sirius. Eventually, Peter kidnapped Harry, only to be stopped and slain by Severus. This led to reconciliation between Lily, James and Severus. The pairing for Severus is SSHG in this chapter, so be warned.

_**Disclaimer: I am not J.K. Rowling, nor do I own the Harry Potter Series.**_

'OK, I think that the dress looks good on me. Not that it wouldn't look any different from when I tried it before, but still... At least I can be sure...' mused the brunette as she looked at herself critically in the mirror. The white dress framed her body beautifully, making her appear 'ageless', or at least that's what it was advertised to do. She knew it achieved _something_, because Harry's dad had stated (with a wolf-whistle) that he envied Severus. This comment had elicited a teasing addendum from Sirius concerning the matter of James Potter stealing all of Snape's girls.

After that remark of course, Sirius was very much in the dog-house with everyone there; while Sirius was commonly excused for his innate lack of tact, no one could condone the brash manner he had of bringing up the past in this case. It was still a sore spot for everyone involved.

Mentally discarding the memory, Hermione swallowed as she stared at what she perceived to be a bushy-haired, buck-toothed reflection. Severus couldn't come see her of course, him being the groom and all, but she would have very much liked to have his support right now. Generally, she didn't care about how she looked, but this was her wedding day and she wanted to look nice, at least this one time...

"Hello, Hermione, dear, do you think you're ready for today?" Lily Evans Potter's warm voice gently floated into the room, like a lotus leaf set free on the surface of a lazy golden pond. Hermione resisted the urge to turn; seeing Severus' beautiful former love would not quiet her own self-doubts. Even though the woman was in her forties now, she had aged with the utmost grace, having accumulated only laugh-lines (no ugly wrinkles), a few white strands of hair (no change in perfect texture or overall brilliant color), and the softest padding to her slim waist (no ungainly weight from childbirth or stress).

"I don't know, Mrs. Potter... I look like a frump," said Hermione, passing heavy fingers over the frown-furrows on her own brow (which came from squinting and poring over books), the bushy and unmanageable hair (something for which she had no excuse except heredity), and the distinct bulge of her stomach (she liked food but had a sedentary lifestyle). Fighting for some dignity by confiding to the woman she'd always held as a measuring stick to gauge how close she came to the 'perfect' woman for Severus, she whinged, "I mean, Severus told me he doesn't want me to use Sleakeazy's this time; apparently, he has allergies and it gets his tongue itchy, as well as his-" Hermione suddenly went pink as she realized what she was implying to Severus' best friend, and Harry's mother. "Uh, forget I said anything!"

Lily laughed, an almost musical-sounding laugh that Hermione wished oh-so-much that she could copy. Sounding amused, she wagged her finger as she spoke, "Don't worry, dear; I'm pretty sure I know how honeymoons go. I am married, you know... And you don't look like a frump at all! In fact, how did Severus put it..." She pursed her lips for a moment, before nodding. "That's it... 'She's like an Amazon queen, my Hermione is'."

"Did he really say that?" Hermione asked unsurely, feeling her face warm even more, this time with pleasure. "Did Severus really say that?" She didn't know quite how her horsey face, incorrigible hair, or plumpness could make her an Amazon Queen.

"Yes he most certainly did, Hermione, so put any thoughts of the sort right out of your head. You look positively radiant. However..." Lily's smile faded slightly, her face growing rather menacing as she did so. "That is not what I am here to talk to you about. There is something more delicate that the two of us need to discuss."

Hermione nodded, turning to look the other woman in the eye for the first time in the conversation.

For several minutes, there was silence; Hermione started to wonder if Lily intended to say anything at all, perhaps missing her nod, when the woman finally spoke. "This is something that must be discussed woman-to-woman, Hermione, so I would appreciate your honesty in this." Hermione nodded again, and Lily asked bluntly, "Are you getting tired of Severus, perhaps bored of him?"

Hermione's eyes narrowed and her lips pressed together, but with politeness she managed to keep the anger out of her voice. "No, I am not even remotely bored of Severus, nor am I tired of him." Her voice then turned a touch darker as she asked coldly, "Might I ask you why you are asking me such a question, on my wedding day!?'

Lily crossed her arms and sat in one of the nearby chairs, giving Hermione a rather pointed look. "We all remember what happened between you and Mr. Weasley, Hermione. I want you to be absolutely certain-"

"How dare you!?" hissed Hermione, her face contorting with anger as she glared right into the other woman's eyes. "How dare you ask me such a question!? ON MY WEDDING DAY!" Breaking off, Hermione breathed deeply for several seconds, before looking unflinchingly at the red-haired woman beside her. "I've spent years being punished for that already; do you need to bring this up now?"

Lily responded to the glare in kind, but took a deep breath, calming herself down. In an impatient tone of voice, she then growled out, "Hermione...I'm not asking this of you on a whim. This is very important-"

"Then explain," said Hermione heatedly, eyes flashing in her fury. "Explain and be bloody quick about it!"

For several moments, the two women locked gazes, whereupon Lily shook her head and asked quietly, "Hermione, what do you think would happen if you cheated on Severus, just like you did with Mr. Weasley?"

"I have no inten-"

"Answer the question, Hermione." said Lily coolly, her emerald eyes seeming to spark. "It's an important one. How would Severus respond?"

Hermione sighed, counted to twenty, then said indifferently, "If, and I'm not saying that I ever would, but if I betrayed Severus in such a manner and he found out, then he would probably give up and divorce me. He's generally not a forgiving man, not after his hard life. As such, if I were to cheat on him, that would be the end of it. He'd never forgive me, whatever I said." She then glared at the other woman once more, resisting her urge to grind one of her pretty white high-heels into the carpet beneath her.. "Does that answer your question?"

There was another pause, then Lily replied quietly, "Hermione, you're probably right...but at the same time, you've forgotten something about Severus. You have only seen the end result of his life, not how he came to that point. He..." Lily swallowed, seeming to shrink into herself as she whispered, voice weak, "He's a lot weaker than he appears, more fragile... It could very well destroy him...and I'm not going to let that happen again." Her face snapped up as her emerald eyes hardened until they resembled the gemstones they were named for. "I'm _never_ going to let that happen again, not thanks to you, me or anyone."

Hermione took another deep breath and spoke slowly, enunciating every syllable. She fought to keep the emotion out of her voice, feeling betrayed that Severus' best friend apparently thought so little of her."Mrs. Potter, I have absolutely no intention of betraying Severus in such a way, _ever_. I know that I made a mistake when I was with Ron, but I've paid for my error; I'll never be welcome at the Burrow again, not really, and half my friends won't speak to me anymore. Even if that weren't the case though, I wouldn't let something like that happen, I wouldn't." She then lost the battle against tears, and her voice choked up. "I...I love him."

Lily looked away, a single tear running down her left cheek. "Just because you love him doesn't mean you cannot hurt him." She coughed once, then continued in a stronger tone of voice, "I_ know_ you Hermione; you've been part of the lives of my friends and families since practically the first few weeks of Hogwarts...you always try so desperately to make everyone happy...even at the cost of yourself. That's the problem."

Hermione glared back at the other woman, anger starting to build once more. "The...the problem?" It didn't make sense; why would her tendency to self-sacrifice--and Hermione certainly was self-aware enough to know she had one--be a _problem_?

"Yes," said Lily with a single sad shake of the head. "The problem; you take every burden upon yourself, again and again until you finally cannot take anymore...then you erupt, in anger or worse. It happened with Ronald, when you self-destructed by making out with Seamus. You let everyone's expectations rule your life until you just couldn't take it anymore, trying so hard to make them happy...then you exploded. You didn't even like Seamus much, from what I recall, yet you were willing to cheat on Ronald with him so that you could find _some _way out of your own suffering..." Lily no longer had any anger on her face at all, only a pitying sort of understanding as she looked at Hermione's unmoving form, her voice pleading the younger woman. "So if you have any doubts about this, if you feel pressured at all by our expectations. Leave Severus now. He'll be hurt...but it will be nothing compared to what he would feel if you do to him what you did to Ronald."

Hermione stood there, head now bowed, hands clenched so tightly into fists that her fingernails dug into the palms of her hands, making them bleed. Slowly, she lifted her head, looking Lily squarely in the eyes, chin held high. In a quiet voice, she spoke angry words, mitigated only by a frigid politeness that it was clear she did not feel.

"Mrs. Potter, I believed that you thought better of me than that. I _chose _Severus because he helped me when I least expected it, because he gave me courage to be someone I wanted to be, and because he makes my mind come to life whenever I am around him, buzzing like one of those Muggle PCs as it links up to something greater..." Her eyes blazed as she jabbed a finger at the door. "So if you think that I would betray him _for anything_...leave now."

Lily backed up slowly, eyes wide. Nodding, the older woman started to walk to the door Hermione pointed at firmly. Then she stopped, halfway through the door. Turning back, she spoke quietly, "I apologize, Hermione, I was just...I hurt him so much, I didn't want to see it happen again. I didn't mean to...I'm sorry."

Hermione then watched as the red-haired woman shut the door gingerly behind her, before turning back to her mirror with a grimace. Lily had been one of her primary supporters when she and Severus got together. It hurt that she apparently didn't trust her either.

At least one thing good came of the confrontation though: as a result Lily's unwanted insinuations, Hermione was far too angry to be worried about her appearance anymore.


End file.
